Challenges of dating a pastor

Following the rules of etiquette can help the dating pastor -- or the person who is dating the pastor -- to date in an appropriate way that aligns with the church's teachings. If you're a pastor, it's likely that you have accepted that abstinence until marriage is a part of your life. Even though this is part of your belief system, it doesn't necessarily mean that everyone you date has the same idea. Part of pastoral dating etiquette includes when to tell your date that he has to wait.

While there's no set-in-stone time to tell, doing it early can help both you and your potential partner decide whether a lack of physical intimacy is acceptable or not. For example, pastor Wren Miller tells "Marie Claire" magazine that she tries to wait to tell potential suitors, as they may not want to stay and get to know her if there's no possibility of intimacy before marriage. The flip side of a pastor telling a date about his abstinence beliefs is the date accepting it.

The decision to accept waiting until marriage to get physical is a personal one.

10 Things to Know about Marrying a Pastor

There's no precise rule governing whether to wait along with the pastor or move on. Daters may look to their own belief systems, morals and values when choosing whether to stick with the pastor or not. Some people simply don't feel comfortable with this decision, and choose to leave before anything serious gets started. If you think that you feel a certain chemistry with your pastor and want to pursue a relationship, keep in mind that, while in some cases this is acceptable, many churches specifically prohibit pastor-parishioner relationships.

For example, your church's ethical guidelines for the pastor's service may say that romantic and physical relationships with church members are not allowed. If there's a no dating rule at your church, you'll need to accept it and look for love elsewhere. Pastors don't just have a commitment to their religion, they also have a commitment to their congregation.

This means that when dating a pastor you'll have to take a backseat to church-related issues and activities. For example, you have plans to spend the evening with your pastor boyfriend.


But, one of his parishioners calls and is in need of immediate counseling. Your boyfriend will need to go to the parishioner and take a rain check on your evening out. Instead of acting out ask God for wisdom, knowledge and understanding so If it is his will you will show humility. Better wait on God. To many exes in the same church. Be sure to know where the relationship is headed before you put yourself in a maybe hopefully situation.

A woman of God show always know her place and how to conduct herself in Gods house. If he does acknowledge you just assume your friends and not dating.

Rules for Dating a Pastor Continued | Stacy Newell

Before he ever invites you there you should know if its God sent. And she should already know the protocol of how things basic works in Gods house. She should know what shout ins are all about. How the anointing works and that we are all still human. And hope neither one is naracistic. Her reputation should be just as important as his. He most certainly should be heard from God before inviting her to church. And know exactly if his intentions or honorable before she is ever invited. I just shared this on my Facebook page. You have a lot of wisdom and I would love to have someone like you on my team.

Finley in Mobile and she has always been a great source of wisdom. I was very impressed by her as a young lady and I can definitely say that her wisdom is beyond her years.


I hope all is well. I ran across your blog on Facebook.

Pastor Caught Going Deep Inside Another Man's Wife @Hodgetwins

Please reach out to me when you can. I pray you can remember me.

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This is great and to the point advice. Definately good to know information!

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Thanks for the insight. On point……had me cracking up but its truth! You can copy the complete web address to share. Thanks for your support! Thank you so much, I really learnt a lot to avoid certain mistakes. I laughed the entire time reading this. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email required Address never made public.